


hold me in your beating heart

by LadyLiv



Category: Avengers: Endgame - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clintasha - Freeform, Comfort/Angst, English is not my native language, F/M, Family Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-25 23:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18711958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLiv/pseuds/LadyLiv
Summary: Sometimes, Laura knows, Clint has nightmares.





	hold me in your beating heart

Sometimes, Laura knows, Clint has nightmares. 

He was always in control, but Laura knew when it happen. Despite no agitation, his arms would trembled as he searched for her body in the middle of the night, looking for refuge, comfort. And when he kissed her, she could feel the dampness of his face, the silent tears of a difficult childhood and a complicated job. Laura understood, and didn’t press. In the morning, when his shoulders weren’t so tense, he would whisper to her in secret what it was. 

"It's okay," she would hug him. "You're safe, we're with you. Always." 

The children would help him to forget too, with their innocence, and the repetitive questions about superheroes that always made them smile. 

Just bad days, it was an easy life. 

And then, 

"NATASHA! NATASHA!" He shouted the first night, and the following nights as well. Clint had become restless in his sleep. The closed eyes were a weak protection against uncontrollable tears, and the raised hands didn’t give up trying to grasp the invisible. "NAT, NO!" 

Thanos happened. 

For Laura Barton, it had been like a sudden slumber in the middle of the afternoon. For her husband, 5 years had passed. Years full of pain and suffering and death and- Clint Barton doesn’t talk about it. 

He managed to bring them back and he doesn’t talk about it. 

Natasha Romanoff was dead and Clint Barton _never_ talked about it, with no one, ever. 

"Clint." in the morning, Laura would try. "Clint, talk to me." 

It was in vain and that worried her. His anguish was remarkable, and this time the children didn’t help him to forget. 

"Daddy." with his fat cheeks full of breakfast, little Nate asked innocently after a few days. "Daddy, where's Auntie Nat?" 

They still hadn’t told them when Nate asked (though they suspected Cooper and Lila had already figure it out), and God! Laura could swear that her husband would have a breakdown right there. 

But surprising her, he just knelt before Nate, and touched his own chest. 

"Your Auntie Nat... is here." His voice was shaky and then touched his son's chest. "And here too." 

"In my heart?" 

"Yes." 

"But... well... can she come out a little bit? ‘cause I wanted to show her the drawning I made... " 

Clint let loose something between a laugh and a cry, shaking his head. His gesture made Laura's heart melt. 

"She's _very_ stubborn, I don’t think she's going to." 

His gaze became vague then, and Laura knew he was thinking about what had happened, what he refused to tell, what made him struggle every night. 

"The important thing now is that she will be with us. Always." Laura said, watching each of her children closely. "She'll never leave us. Is it okay?" 

"It's okay." 

"It's okay." 

"It's okay." 

Laura smiled and looked at Clint. 

"It’s okay." His tone was melancholy, but he smiled too. It wasn’t happy and there was sadness there, Laura knew. But it was peaceful. 

It was not fair. 

But honestly? There were worse days.


End file.
